Unparalleled Terror

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As I lay in here in bed, contemplating about what I want to write, Im listening to the rain, and thinking of someone.   And how absolutely terrified I am that Im thinking of him.   We’ve been dating for a few weeks, consisting of a few amazing dates and an amazingly fun Saturday night spent away from home just with each other.   Neither of us have broached the subject of exclusive, but I know hes not seeing anyone else, and even though I started out seeing someone at the same time, its kinda fizzled because in part, Im a horrible person who didnt make plans to see him again after sleeping with him.

Its so hard to put into words what I want to say, and I just need some damn hollywood screen writer to make some words for me.  Hes cute, hes fun, hes amazing in ALL aspects, and I even like his dogs.   I want more with him, but Im nervous about what more entails because the time I got more, I ended up with a gorgeous engagement ring that cracked after 3 weeks, and a broken engagement not long after because the trappings came off and the real person came out.

Speed is NOT my friend, but I dont want to lose this one.  Motherfucker, Im 40 years old, and still having teenage anxiety about boys.

FML.

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About Jayne McClane

Outspoken, yet hidden romantic with a tendency to jump when others tiptoe. I spend my days doing things that most people run screaming from, and I love it. My veins pump glitter, good beer, and Irish blood all in a tiny package. Loving mom, rescued by a loving pitty last year, and addicted to trashy TV.

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