As I lay in here in bed, contemplating about what I want to write, Im listening to the rain, and thinking of someone. And how absolutely terrified I am that Im thinking of him. We’ve been dating for a few weeks, consisting of a few amazing dates and an amazingly fun Saturday night spent away from home just with each other. Neither of us have broached the subject of exclusive, but I know hes not seeing anyone else, and even though I started out seeing someone at the same time, its kinda fizzled because in part, Im a horrible person who didnt make plans to see him again after sleeping with him.
Its so hard to put into words what I want to say, and I just need some damn hollywood screen writer to make some words for me. Hes cute, hes fun, hes amazing in ALL aspects, and I even like his dogs. I want more with him, but Im nervous about what more entails because the time I got more, I ended up with a gorgeous engagement ring that cracked after 3 weeks, and a broken engagement not long after because the trappings came off and the real person came out.
Speed is NOT my friend, but I dont want to lose this one. Motherfucker, Im 40 years old, and still having teenage anxiety about boys.